As I transition from mostly in person to mostly online work, at least for the time-being, I am often asked how an approach that is body-based can be effective when we aren’t in the same room. How does it even work?

These are good questions. As a Rolfing ™ Structural Integration practitioner of almost 30 years I am very much an in-person, literal hands-on practitioner. And the many practitioners that I have benefitted from – including counsellors – are as well. So I was skeptical at the mass pivoting to the online therapeutic sphere that suddenly happened a few short (and also very long) years ago.

Indeed, after beginning my Somatic Experiencing® training in person just before the Covid-19 pandemic, I could not have predicted that I would have it in me to endure the next three years of training online. In the end not only did I endure them, but loved them, as I felt the power of presence and attunement that can be transmitted from practitioner to client in the virtual space.

I even trained in, and began assisting, another somatic training at the same time, specifically geared, for these wild and unprecedented times, to learning virtual, co-regulating ‘touch’.

As I began to unpack what it was that helped me be available (a.k.a. feel safe enough) for the healing of these modalities I realized that choice and pace are implicitly tied to the absolute importance of attunement – the ability to sense and be sensed by another – and presence from the practitioner. 

Before being able to even sense my practitioner sensing me I have to be comfortable enough to have access to my senses. 

And what helped me feel safe in my space was specifically related to how comfortable I was. Although I felt the distance of not being in real time and space with people, I was able to create enough comfort to be able to relax enough to feel connected. 

Cushions, blankets, hot water bottles, how I sat in my room, and on which chair, and drinking from my favourite mug were some of the things that got me there. 

In an online session with me you get to do the same: Imagine being in the most comfortable place you know. Your happy place. You don’t have to go anywhere to get there. You don’t have to go out into the world and interface with the likes of weather, traffic, transit, other people, parking, or the stress of having to make it to yet one more appointment.

You get to choose the couch you sit (or lie) on, be in your coziest clothes, drink tea from your favourite mug.

Or maybe getting to the appointment isn’t stressful for you, but once the session is over you would rather curl up, be cozy, and be in the sweet, integrative space of following your own, unhindered pace.

As insignificant as it might sound, whatever the ideal setting for you, orienting to and making these choices are part of creating a space that offers you the most presence and safety you require for your optimal experience and these choices are a significant part of your therapeutic somatic journey. 

My first Relational Trauma Therapy training 12 years ago was grounded in uncovering the resources we already have in our body. Noticing preferences – ie where you want to sit in a room, your proximity to your therapist – or computer screen – are rooted in your knowing of what allows you to feel safe. 

To prepare for an online session you are making choices from this place of knowing what you need. And as we begin the session we may take some time to notice how you are, reassess and make any changes – ie. adjust lighting, your chair, your proximity to the computer screen and me.

We spend time letting these choices really register in your body, so you get to sense how you know what works and what doesn’t, and any changes you want to make, so that things can feel ‘just right’.

 In Somatic Experiencing ™ terms, this practice of recognizing and being able to increase our tolerance for noticing and staying with the somatic effects of things is called building capacity. It’s from here that we increase our ‘window of tolerance’ – our ability to have more area inside ourselves that isn’t just the trauma/survival response.

But what about the ‘touch’ part? How, really, can someone be touched online?

Well, it’s true. We cannot literally touch people online. 

We can, though, bring kind, curious attention to the body and its stories connected to our big life events. As these stories begin to unwind and redirect stuck energy into more fluid life force, the body may move, shake, tremble, or increase in sensation. As a way to bring some support I may suggest touch from your own hands, a cushion, my attention, or ‘virtual touch’, or movement. 

There is nothing like in person work. And I have clients who benefit greatly, and even prefer, the online space for the opportunity it gives them to experience the healing quality of their own embodiment. In a zoom session we can bring powerful attention, presence, and inquiry to what is moving in your body. Your slow, gradual arriving into contact with your own sensations may be just the restorative ‘touch’ you need to be with and listen to the stories that are held in the body, and support the resolution they are longing for.

Free discovery calls and online bookings here. I look forward to being with you.